stolen! funny though

The Difference Between Malaysians and Singaporeans
By Eddie G.

It's not as if you hadn't noticed, but Malaysians and Singaporeans do have quite a bit in common. However, if you do pay attention, you might notice some distinguishing traits that might spell the difference between a true blue Malaysian and a die-hard Singaporean. These are guidelines. No one has to follow them, but generally they do.


AT A BUFFET
Malaysian: Eats until he throws up

Singaporean: Eats until he throws up, and then eats some more


LAW & ORDER
Malaysian: Knows his laws, disobeys them and that's fine

Singaporean: Knows his laws, disobeys them and gets fined


ECONOMY
Malaysian: Trade Union owned by rich, pretentious bastards who don't know shit about the struggles of the working class

Singaporean: Trade Union owned by the government


MANNERS
Malaysian: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, trys to pretend nothing happened

Singaporean: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, trys to justify his motive ("Actually hor, you know ah, I've been here already for very long, one!")


CUSTOMS
Malaysian: Attempts to smuggle drugs and tobacco into Singapore

Singaporean: Attempts to smuggle chewing gum into Singapore


LEADERSHIP
Malaysian: Former Prime Minister retires and goes off to enjoy life while calling the shots from behind the scene

Singaporean: Former Prime Minister retires... oh wait, no he doesn't.


INFRASTRUCTURE
Malaysian: Builds Twin Towers to symbolize what Malaysia is all about

Singaporean: Builds Twin Metal-Spiked Balls for the same purpose


CORRUPTION
Singaporean: Culprit begs policeman for leniency

Malaysian: Policeman begs culprit for bribes


POLITICS
Malaysian: Believes in a one-phantom-one-vote policy

Singaporean: Lee Kuan Yew votes on behalf of the country


CENSORSHIP
Singaporean: Allows adult films to be screened so long as patrons are of age and film possesses a certain aesthetic value

Malaysian: Buy the VCD lah!


PATRIOTISM
Malaysian: Sings Malaysian National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia

Singaporean: Sings Singaporean National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia