not quite insomnia...

This week have been the shittiest in terms of sleep in probably the past 10-15 years.
I'd go to bed at 12 or round about 12 give or take half an hour and then I'll wake up in the middle of the night. 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, etc..

I have no idea what it is that's been bothering me. But I'm tired. I'm not getting my requisite number of hours. It's almost as bad as when I slept at later hours. Kind of defeats the purpose.
Sigh.

Last time that I had something like this was when I was still in Melbourne before I met the committee. I'd have nightmares and sleeplessness and even went to see a doctor about it and got some sleeping pills. The effects only lasted some 3-4 hours before I'd be awake again. Then I knew what it was that was bothering me.

But what is it now?



"Whenever I'm weary,
From the battles that rage in my head,
You made sense of madness,
When my sanity hangs by a thread"

Now and Forever - Richard Marx

nice lyrics

There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are dead and gone.

Here they talked of revolution.
Here it was they lit the flame.
Here they sang about `tomorrow'
And tomorrow never came.

From the table in the corner
They could see a world reborn
And they rose with voices ringing
I can hear them now!
The very words that they had sung
Became their last communion
On the lonely barricade at dawn.

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me

That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.

Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IA36liLghk