good morning

"..Hello, I've just got to let you know
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying, I love you ... "

bits of one of the songs from the recital

"..God knows it's easy to hide,
From the things that you feel
And harder to blindly trust
What you can't understand
God knows it's easy to run,
From the people you love
And harder to stand and fight
For the things you believe.."

stolen from WWL (she already googled it)

History

There are certain lessons to be learnt from history.
How wars are lost
How wars are won

Why a civilization fell,
how doing something right can be the best thing you ever did

If you can't learn from the past then you're doomed to forever repeat your mistakes.
How I will never lend a certain someone money because they start coming up with all sort of excuses how they can't pay you
How I will never expect anything from certain people because those expectations would be unreasonable and unattainable by their standards
How I will not draw/imagine patterns where there are none.

Those are the lessons you learn amongst others.
So who says history isn't important?
;)

Oh you make me smile

"You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed, sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head, spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night
You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Ohh, you make me smile"

童话

sometimes, dreams are just meant to be just that.

Dreams.

finito

The ending's already written.
I know it deep down inside.
But still I try to eke what I can out of it.
To try and temper the bitter.

The difference..

between hope and wish

I hope for something..
and I wish for something..

Feel the difference?

i.e.
I wish but I don't hope.

that familiar feeling..

of being ignored.

you're like an old friend.
I know you well.

ah

ok

As honest as honest does

As another year draws to a close,

I've come to the realisation that I feel older now.. much more than that can be explained by mere age alone.

It's probably the fact that as we grow older, we tend to be less honest with ourselves, with the world around us.


e.g.

I'm lazy yet I push myself to work.. that's a struggle in itself
I'm trying to hold my tongue when my first urge would be to just blurt it out
I wrestle with my conscience to do the right thing
I struggle with my impatience when things just won't proceed as planned
I curb my inherent pushiness in an effort to get along

Every action is deliberate, each one of them an effort in itself.
I'm tired...

Common denominator seems to be "I".
but then it IS all about me.
AND it doesn't have to make sense.

gah

i need a new word
frustration isn't quite cutting the mustard.

I think I tore almost everyone on both sides a new one because they were all so fucking lax.
I hate, ABSOLUTELY HATE a lack of intensity. People who do things half assed can go kill themselves in some jungle somewhere.

and please
not everything is about you. I function without you, you realise.
geez.

random

has anyone ever wondered why settling and settling down uses the same root word?

today

i am happy.

Even if this happiness is transient in nature, I'm satisfied.

therefore,
I am happy.

dumdum

sometimes I find it odd that me, the self-professed atheist is prone to mouthing off

"just gotta have faith."
faith in what you ask.
faith in the unknown.

Does that unknown include god?

nope it doesn't.

to which you'll probably say
you're an idiot

the line.

when the lines becomes blurred, take a step back to re-establish the line.
No good can ever come from a blurred line.

crap.. typical utter drivel

When the burden of guilt overwhelms, the silent wall beckons.

You can scream at it, beat on it with your fists or throw things at it and it won't care. It will endure any and all punishment stoically with nary a peep. If you lean on the wall and weep, there will be no warm embrace to comfort you. Merely a cold hard surface that's unflinching and unyielding.

If you talk to it and listen intently, you'll hear yourself for who you really are. For the words comes back to you and when you listen to it, you'll find that what you thought made perfect sense in your head doesn't make so much sense when said out loud.

This is my silent wall. Thanks for being there.

no woman no pride..

I think I'm envious with just about every songwriter, poet out there.
Those people who can string words up together and make you feel different things.
I want that kind of power!!!

plus reading minds, flying, invincibility, ermm.. yea.. sorry digression

but I want to y'know have the power to move.
but all I have is the power to annoy.

I guess that's a kind of movement.

blah

whatever la...
really.

of undergarments..

Someone on my msn list had this listed as her private msg.

"A good man is like a wonderbra."

That got me thinking, what kind of undergarment would I be?
By my own estimation, I should be either a trainer or one of those full cup flesh coloured ones.

Nothing fancy, gets the job done, comfortable, anonymous.. ;)

Yeap... that'd be the kind that I would be.

Love

Much is said about this often discussed, debated, and/or written about subject. There’s been countless thesis, dissertations written about how it may or may not come about.

Today I’ll talk about the chemistry variant. How all that we feel is just a series of chemical reactions in our heads when thrust into any situation. It’s all just a matter of chemistry and possibilities and conditioning. Beauty is subjective and differs from culture to culture. That can be attributed to conditioning.

Isn’t it frightening to think that all that we are, who we are and how we relate to the things around us is based purely on something not very well understood and seemingly a little chance-y.

That without such a thing called love and to a greater extent emotions, we become mere automatons and that would actually just kill us off as a species. We’d not love, we’d not nurture and definitely have no urge/need to sacrifice ourselves for the sake of another being.

We’d become less than what we are. And sometimes it scares me to see us as a race go down that road. You get a lot of scare-mongering e-mails about how dangerous everything is. Eventually we’ll just close off the world and focus on ourselves to the extreme extent that we actually just no longer interact with the outside world. Certainly the internet helps that.

I don’t know what I am trying to say here.

Just that I never want to be a soulless automaton living without hopes, fears, expectations or dreams.

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